Hello.
Was reading others' emo blog posts just now and I feel like crying.
This is stupid, I know.
Oh well.
That's me.
I get influenced by other people easily. Either I'm close to them, or not.
I mean emotionally.
Whenever my friends crying in front of me, I feel like crying too.
It happens a few times.
It just broke my heart.
I hope that I'm the one getting hurt.
Having sucha big realization recently.
Everyone is lonely, at heart, I think.
I always try my best to not let people I care feel alone, I tell them I will be there when they need me, I never judge when they tell me their fucked up stories, cause I wanna be the one they feel comfortable to turn to.
I don't want people I love to feel that they are in a war all by their own.
Cause I know that sense of loneliness can shake even the strongest soul.
It comes to a point that I realize, what I do is not enough.
I fail to strike balance between everything I love.
It broke my heart to see my bestfriend cry that night.
It broke my heart to hold her in my arm, crying.
It's just,
whenever I need her, she will be there.
But when she needs me, I'm just not there.
I went through one of my depressing time with her holding my hand, firmly.
She means so much so much to me.
Without her, I'm nothing like seriously.
But then now, I just fail to be there for her.
And I know how much courage it take for her to finally say it to me.
Sayang you know,
I never mean to make you feel this way.
The last thing I ever want to do is letting anyone down.
But apparently I'm letting everyone down.
My used to be guy buddy don't want to even look at me now, I let my bestfriend go through all this shits alone.
I'm losing precious things.
I know.
But I gonna fight for them, even it's gonna be hard, it's gonna be long.
Cause this gonna be totally worth it.
