Lighted Fool.

2.55am on April Fool.
First of all, sorry that I eat up my promise. I didn't update about my birthday before March end. Ughhh. That's why I don't like to make promise. Cause it feels so awful when you break one. Oh well.

Was just had an extremely busy March. Really. The work load is crazy. Especially the last 2 weeks. Midterm was haunting me. At first it was statistics. The exam was effing tough. Then it was theater monologue midterm. It was ok since mathematics is not involved. Next, goddamn calculus. Well, don't even ask me about this. I will go crazy. Lastly was stupid moral. Did the online test in Temptation, in the middle of chaos and distractions. All these above ALMOST kill me. Close enough.

And I went to this education fair of US university today. And I................ can't breathe. Literally. I feel damn stress. I am doubting myself. I have been doing this very frequently these days. I used to don't really care about what people talk about but now I am like, not really that kind of person anymore. Words hurt me, scare me. I am terrified. How can something I never do I never say is really passing around without me knowing. It was awful. Really. I am so exhausted. I feel like closing down this blog. I was so naive back then. I don't feel like sharing my life anymore. People do judge someone badly without even interact with that person. Being nice to people around you is always not enough. They don't see it they don't appreciate. They only judge. Judge till you can't breath. Judge till you wilt. Judge till the world ends.


Sharpen words, twisted truths. Vicious tongue and foolish ears.
You think you have asked something real. They think they have said something real.

You think you know how to love?

" All I require from you is a slither of a moment. To have you not by force, but simply as a man and a women. To see in your eye, that simple truth, that you give yourself to me freely. Not because you have to, but because you want to. Now of course, for such a gem, I will give as well. I'm willing to give you freedom. Pure and total freedom. Freedom from the drudgery of everyday life. Freedom as abstract ideal. Freedom from pain. Freedom from responsibility. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from regret. Freedom from sadness. Freedom from loss. The freedom to be happy. Don't close your eyes; I need you to look at me. The freedom to love. "








Quotes from the movie, Sucker Punch.
The most romantic and touching words a man could ever say to his girl.
You think you know what is love?
You think you know how to love?
This is it.
Love.

Permanent Hangover

Helloooooooo.
It had been almost a month that I last update my boring blog! Well I doubt that are there anyone out there still reading this crappy little dusty blog. Being active in Instagram and Twitter recently and those lovelies who have followed me will know that I am still alive! Yea this crazy bitch is still alive! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Ok still crazy like always huh. Always have always will. Old habit die hard. Baby I was born this way. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAS. Ignore me.

Ok so this crazy bitch had an amazing 19th birthday this year and she can't wait any longer to blog about it but bloody hell she was too occupied with all kind of shits and now when she is finally coming back to the hometown and get some quality rest and time on her own SHE BLOODY FORGET TO BRING HER CAMERA BACK. AHHHHHHHHHHH. Ok nevermind. I will try to update before March ends ok??? Crazy midterm week gonna start from next week and I really hope that I can survive from all these sticks and stones. AIH CALCULUS YOU PAIN IN THE ASS.

Ohhhhh and do you ever heard of permanent hangover? Or you ever had one or still suffering from it? Let me tell you a story. Well not much a story, more to a bloody hell incident. I had a pretty drunken weekend during my birthday. I was kind of overwork lately with insufficient sleep and gym session which is pretty heavy to me. And I was on diet, well I AM on diet. And the stupid, stubborn me never listen to what people say about don't drink with empty stomach. So I ate a tiny little chicken mayo sandwich for a bloody whole day and started drinking start from 5.00pm. I was a little bit drunk and kept fooling around until 10.00pm and then off to Vertigo Club @Midvalley to dance the night away. And had this Black Label that I hate the most for the night.

Well so I slept for awhile and then on the next day I went to shop with my girls with this exhausted mind and body and at night I drank again with my favourite drinking companions. Gin and Hennessy for the night. That Hennessy killed everyone. Eww. And the next morning ta daa hangover kicking in with no surprise. Little did I know this bloody hangover were still there on the next next morning, next next next morning and next next next next morning.  I started to panic cause it feels like it gonna stay with me forever and bloody hell I don't want to be blur and reckless forever and then I went google "Permanent Hangover" on the net and surprisingly this is really exist!!! And all the "experienced people" there suggested to eat more fruits and cereals, drink more water and rest more. So I try to sleep more. And then I abandon my diet plan TEMPORARY. I eat like a pig to make myself "stable". I exercise to sweat more. I drink as much water as I can. AND THANK GOD IT WENT OFF ON THE 5th DAY! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY.

So, I'm considering quitting alcohol now. Cause that incident really scare the shit out of me. But I not sure whether I can make it. Because alcohol is the best friend *that sometimes will go rogue*