Papa

Hugging kitty always heal me:)

This is so gonna be an emo post due to my pms.
Just watched a chinese mv in youtube and it makes me cry like mad.
Here you go:

This remind me of my papa.
I don't know. All in the sudden I just feel that I can't live without him.
It's like, I think I can't stand to have anyone disappear from my life anyfuckingmore.
On the phone with him just now and he kept complaining about naughty little brother, like always. Hahas:P
And he sounds so tired.
Since grandma passed away, I know he never fully recover from the grief.
The last time I went back home my mum complain this to me with a joking tone: "Your papa ah, everyday sleep only. Keep running from reality only."
I don't know I just feel so sad everytime I think of this.
I know how that works.
You feel no pain in deep sleep.
Cause I do the same, sleep the hell out when I'm in pain.
You know that papa are always the strongest, the bravest, the one that can solve everything, anything in our family.
When grandma is seriously sick, he's the one that comforting everyone in the family, saying everything will be fine eventhough deep down we all know nothing is fine.
He's the one that call me telling me every pregress of grandmama and when he feel the sadness in the silence across the phone, he will always ask me don't worry, it's just a temporary case but I know he's way worrier than anyone of us.
He's the one that comforting everyone, then who's the one to comfort him?
When we're all taking care of grandma in the hospital, he's driving miles and miles finding cure, finding hopes for grandma.
He tries everything: every doctors he can reach, feng shui and everything.
I can never forget the pain, seeing his tears dripping on the day grandma has left us.
How I wish I could take that away from him.
How I wish I could be the one that tell him everything is gonna be fine.
How I wish I could.
How I wish I could.